Sunday, December 27, 2009

A Moment with My Daughter

These are my two lovely daughters. The one on the left is the oldest. She considers herself a fashionista and she does put together some nice looks. She rarely leaves the house without belting something or adding a splash of color with a sweater or shoes. She loves all things designer. I don't know where she got her expensive taste from.

However, when it comes to table manners, she's atrocious. A complete contradiction. Today we had lunch together at Olive Garden and I was watching her eat fettuccine alfredo. She looked up and said "What?" She's hunched over her plate like an inmate, holding her fork in caveman-like fashion.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking though, when you have that first date with a guy that you really, really like at a nice restaurant...you might want to consider going somewhere that you can order a smoothie or something. Drink your dinner, you know? Because if he sees your table manners, sweetie, you're in trouble."

Still clubbing her fork, she said "It's not that bad, Mom. Besides, you never sent me to manners school."

(I love how at any given moment my daughters can find a way to blame me for every problem...including the economy, the hole in the ozone layer and world hunger).

"I never went to manners school either, whatever that is, and I don't eat like a wild boar."

She laughed and again told me that I was exagerrating.

I sighed and said, "Would you please wipe the alfredo sauce from your chin?"

"Geez, Mom, I didn't even know it was there."

"Really? You didn't feel that noodle slapping you in the face as your slurped it from the plate?"

She giggled and wiped her chin with the back of her delicate hand.

So...perhaps I spoke to soon. I'm looking for some sort of manners class, school, prison, rehab center. Anything.

Help.

6 comments:

Mark said...

beautiful daughters, still laughing at your story.

Diahn said...

Me, too. I can picture her...noodles flapping...

Sounds like a certain shirt-tucked-in, jeans-neatly-pressed, quirky young man I know...

Lisa said...

I laughed out loud at this one. I wonder if there is a copy we can find of Emily Post's "To Flap or not to Flap: A Tale of Two Noodles" or "Basic Manners for the Pasta Challenged: From Inmate to First Date" . . .

Melinda said...

Thanks for laughing with me, dear friends. I found it pretty amusing myself...LATER.

Love the Emily Post titles, Lisa...especially the second one! Priceless.

bleigh said...

Alas... As a mother - you will always be blamed for something... Most things are - most definitely - your fault.

Seems to me that I can remember two teenage girls who once ate chips and salsa much the same way you describe here...red sauce dripping off of our chins, loud obnoxious laughter, mouths open and full of chips... Hhhhmmm....

Dan Kent said...

I have the answer. You needn't worry any more. My son, intelligent (Georgia Tech), thoughtful, a bit shy. He is your daughter's match at the table no matter how hard we have tried. He wouldn't even notice your daughter's noodle! The two will happily shovel away, oblivious. Good match.

Anyway, I had to call my wife over for this one - how we laughed! Your descriptive language is wonderful.

And, of course, Happy New Year to you and to both of your lovely daughters!