So I'm reading Roethke and I'm wondering,
how did he do it? How did he turn weeding
a garden into a grieving, death celebration?
And I'm thinking that I'll never be able
to do that, at least not with nature,
and you,
you drag in, with that familiar scowl on your face.
You've just read a poem that I wrote
and you want to know why it doesn't rhyme.
You say it's definitely not poetry.
Definitely.
A dreamer, you say. Not well read, you say.
It's all bullshit anyway and how much does it pay?
Keep trying, you say, try reading James Michener,
and did you know that Jimmy Buffet writes poetry, too?
You're waiting for an answer.
I don't give one away.
You turn, dragging your withered, right leg behind you,
and I know that you will pause,
just for dramatic effect,
before you slam the door.
This post is my first contribution to One Shot Wednesday, a weekly communal writing event. And a confession: it's an older poem but I'm testing the waters. I'm slowly warming back up to my poetry writing and looking for some critical feedback.
11 comments:
pshaw. don't let anyone steal your dream...or your pen...and rhyme anyone can do that...real artists paint withwords outside the lines...smiles. nice one shot
Hi, I love the dramatic effect of the ending of your poem as the door slams.
Poetry, or any other form of written word is about the feeling. I felt you in this poem. great One Shot! xo
Everything is poetry in its own way. Nice One Shot, Melinda!
Whatever you do, don't read Michener. Thanks for posting this to One Shot Wednesday.
Its amazing piece of work... your silent storm that is raging in your heart, your desperation to find the write words like other poets and then the scraping sound of withered leg dragging... I enjoyed it. The last line was beautiful effect...
I also wonder why people think poetry is all about rhyming... ;-)and ofcourse whether it pays... hehehe
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/
Reminds me of how important emotional support is for a writer. thank you
A poem doesn't have to rhyme as long as you write what you feel you want to write.
I am also new at poetry and am learning everyday!Don't let nobody say you can't.As long as you have words to share,then let the pen go rolling!
I am reading and flowing along with the words, and I come to the image of the withered leg and finally the slamming door. Something about this image really anchors the poem for me--like the body of the abuser is giving way under the weight of the venom. You have such a way with words and a remarkable gift in being able to tell the bigger story with a small one. Super poem!
so this is your first attempt..i hope not your last..there was a punchiness to this that i liked..very well written and thanks for joining..pete
Ha ha, I've had the same response, why doesn't it rhyme. Sometimes they get it sometimes they don't.
Lovely poem.
A familiar lament among a lot of poets, I imagine. I usually silence that criticism with my next poem when I dismember them with a chainsaw (in a chrysanthemum themed verse).
That usually gets the stoopid bastids.
Post a Comment