Friday, October 17, 2008


All of the children are gone for a while tonight and I'm left with myself. Wow. I've forgotten what that feels like and I'm reminded tonight...liberating. So much of my time is spent doing for them. I get so tired. So bored. So wrapped up in routine. Sigh. It's just the season that I'm in.

Some thoughts that pertain to me...apparently, I'm more into fashion than I ever dreamed I'd be. Weird, most of the time I wear jeans, t-shirts and flipflops. Hair piled up on top of my head, little make-up and I use a purse until the straps come apart, but yet...Project Runway is my favorite show, next to Top Chef. I long for a night where I can spend two hours getting ready, a symphony opening, a play...just something where I can shine. Is that narcissistic? Maybe shining isn't the right verb, maybe just feeling like I'm doing something that I ENJOY is enough. What's that like?

I watched an excellent movie tonight while the kids are away...The Visitor. Check it out. Awesome movie. And it's funny, it expresses exactly how I feel lately. I love when that happens. An older guy, bored with his life, going through the same old routine, playing a part he feels he has to play, but longing for something more. Something passionate, something that he loves and believes in. Beautiful movie. BEAUTIFUL. And he plays hand-drums. Actually, he learns to play them. I play the hand-drums, but I think too much when I play. There's a new building down the street that they just put a sign out for this week, the sign says "Lotus Studios...Belly Dancing, Yoga, Hand Drums, Karate". Think I'll check into hand drums.

That's all. Just feeling melancholy lately that I'm not doing what I want to do. Think I've said that before.

When will I start?

Too many thoughts going 'round in my head to reign in. Thinking about the possibility of opening a book store...hmmm....

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