Being a mother is no cake walk. Most of the time, your heart is stuck in your throat and your mind just reels and reels at what you should do, could have done better, pledge to do better in the future. These little people and the incredible responsibility they bring is almost too much to bear at times. But we do. We bear them, carry them, comfort them, encourage them, lecture them, and maybe, sometimes yell at them. All this in the midst of trying to keep your head together, the bills paid, a roof over their heads, dealing with your boss, keeping food on the table and shoes on their feet. Those kids are the center of your world, even though, you know that one day they will leave. That's the goal. To send them flying. To give them enough guts and courage to test their wings. To fly on their own. And hopefully, to fly to places you never even imagined they would go. To fly to places you wish you'd had the courage to fly to.
And one day, if you're lucky, they do.
And you sit back and observe with a big, fat grin on your face. And you see that they are more than what you hoped for. That they are different, apart, from yourself. And while they grow up and are still full of doubt and questions about life and the future, you know. You know that somewhere along the way, you did something right. You know that they will be okay. You know that you, in some way, had a part in this amazing, complicated, talented, compassionate human being.
The one in the front is Sara. She detests exercise. She just graduated high school and is on her way to college in a couple of months. As you can see, she's more laid back, she takes a different approach to life. She's smart as a whip but not in a hurry. I have no doubt that she will get to where she wants but she'll take a different route than her sister. Maybe more detours, maybe not. Night and day, these girls. And I love that about them. I love that they contrast and compliment each other. I love that where one is strong, the other is weak, and vice versa. And I love that they lean on each other and have learned to accept their differences.
They are fiercely independent and strong. So much more so than I was at their ages. So yeah, I'm kind of proud. And now I'm sitting here with a big, happy grin on my face while I sit and watch them fly.