I took a break from the blog for awhile. I've been laying low, trying to combat the blues. I've done a lot of cleaning, the kind that involves purging. I've thrown away more junk in the last week and it feels great. I still have a long way to go, but the process of purging helps unclutter my mind. The problem is that I want to have it all done immediately and have to keep reminding myself that Rome wasn't built in a day. Slow down, girl. Baby steps. The more I do, the more I see that needs to be done. Still...I'm learning that keeping busy, in a productive way, lifts my spirits. Wallowing is a nice place to visit, but I don't want to live there.
As for the blog, I guess I got tired of it. I started asking myself why I do this...what purpose does it serve? When I started, it was experimental. The idea being that it would keep me writing. It's interesting for me to go back and read from the beginning. It's changed along the way, as I've changed. And part of my discouragement is that it's mainly for me. Let's face it, writers want to be read, just like artists want their art to be admired. Otherwise, it's in a vacuum, some nebulous place.
I've decided that it's okay if it's just for me, and a handful of close friends. Just like purging my house helps my soul, so does purging my mind. I don't keep a written journal anymore so this serves that purpose and more. What the more is, I don't exactly know, but I do know that this place will continue to grow and change with me.
And that's a good thing.
Seems every February brings about self-analysis for me. I began to realize after the long rush of the holidays, that I'm tired. The rut of my busy, everyday life leaves so little time for me. I realize I've been neglecting myself. I try to carve out a little bit of time each day to be nice to myself. It doesn't always work out, but the more I try, the easier it becomes. And oh, so necessary.
And maybe that's the "more" that this blog serves. It's a place to go that's all my own where I can completely be, ME.
And that's a good thing, too.